The Second Mile

BRAKKK!!!
Kubuka pintu itu dengan kasar, and I stomed in angrily, hurt, and bitter.
Kulihat dia duduk seperti biasa, as if he'd predicted I'd be doing it.

"Sudah! Cukup!" kataku sambil mengangkat tangan, menyerah...kalah,"Aku MUAK dengan apa yang kualami selama BERTAHUN-TAHUN! Like a curse that can't be broken down, for YEARS! YEARS! I've through it over and over again, all ALONE!! All those disobedience! Pemberontakan, tidak ada penundukan diri pada otoritas! Seakan tidak ada habisnya! CUKUP! Aku mau berhenti, mutung, desersi!! I'm done with it!"

"Go for the second mile!" katanya...dengan tetap tenang, tidak terpengaruh sama sekali dengan suasana hatiku.

"WHATTTT??? I CAN'T!! You know that very well! No way! I won't!!"

"Deb, go for the second mile!"

"I can't!! I don't want to! I'm tired and Weak! And I'm SICK with what I must do, to understand their reasons for doing what they did."

"My grace is sufficient for you. In fact, when you're weak, I'm strong. Trust me, Deb! Do it, then the curse will be taken away, doors will be opened when you do it. Annointing will be poured out when you humbly go for the second mile."

"It HURTS!! Sakit, pedih, perih, sedih... My heart is broken again and again. I've done what I must do, but they remain the same. I'm tired," kataku sambil tersedu tak berdaya, "Aku nggak sanggup lagi menanggung semuanya, Tuhaaaaaannn."

"Indeed hurts.. I know, Deb, I know. I'm with you through it all, (and I've been there) so I know how it feels. Ada upah yang menunggu. Upahmu sudah menunggu. Keep on doing it, Deb. Go for the second mile! Not by your power nor might, but by My Spirit. Go, My child!"

Kupejamkan mataku, menarik nafas dalam-dalam, dan kuhembuskan perlahan.

"I'll do it for You. Okay, I'll go. Anyway, I'm going to need Your help for sure here and there."

I know what you do; I know that you have a little power; you have followed my teaching and have been faithful to me. I have opened a door in front of you, which no one can close.

"I see what you've done. Now see what I've done. I've opened a door before you that no one can slam shut. You don't have much strength, I know that; you used what you had to keep my Word. You didn't deny me when times were rough.
(Rev 3.8-GNB, The Message)

"The people I love, I call to account--prod and correct and guide so that they'll live at their best. Up on your feet, then! About face! Run after God!
(Rev 3.19-The Message)

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents.
Sebab itu jadilah penurut-penurut Allah, seperti anak-anak yang kekasih
(Eph 5.1-The Message, LAI)

But his answer was: "My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak." I am most happy, then, to be proud of my weaknesses, in order to feel the protection of Christ's power over me.

and then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness.
(2 Cor 12.9-GNB, The Message)

The angel told me to give Zerubbabel this message from the LORD: "You will succeed, not by military might or by your own strength, but by my spirit.
(Zec 4.6-GNB)

Just For A While

AMEN!!!

Punctual???

Everyone May, but NOT a Leader

Everyone may quit,
but not a leader
Everyone may be in the dungeon of self-pity,
but not a leader
Everyone may come late,
but not a leader
Everyone may sit at the back,
but not a leader
Everyone may be in their own comfort zone,
but not a leader
Everyone may neglect their responsibilities,
but not a leader
Everyone may be absurd,
but not a leader
Everyone may do anything as they wish,
but not a leader
Everyone may look for a substitute,
but not a leader
Everyone may be a mediocre,
but not a leader

WHY NOT???

Lukewarm

"I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You're not cold, you're not hot--far better to be either cold or hot! You're stale. You're stagnant. You make me want to vomit.
(Revelation 3.15-16)-The Message)

I know what you have done; I know that you are neither cold nor hot. How I wish you were either one or the other! But because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I am going to spit you out of my mouth!
(Revelation 3.15-16)-GNB)

That's my condition in the past few weeks. I hate this coz I feel so TERRIBLE!!
I've lost my zeal in doing anything.

Yes, outwardly I still doing things I must do, but without enthusiasm. Inwardly, I don't do them out of love. I supposed to do things out of gratitude and love. They become my routine nowadays. I have so little strength to do anything, coz I've lost my first love to Jesus.

Yesterday, the sermon was actually about bringing down the kingdom of Heaven. Yet, I was so much strengthened by a verse the preacher mentioned:

"To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: "This is the message from the one who is holy and true. He has the key that belonged to David, and when he opens a door, no one can close it, and when he closes it, no one can open it. I know what you do; I know that you have a little power; you have followed my teaching and have been faithful to me. I have opened a door in front of you, which no one can close. (Revelation 3.7-8)

And this one (from my own):

"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: "This is the message from the one who holds the seven stars in his right hand and who walks among the seven gold lampstands. I know what you have done; I know how hard you have worked and how patient you have been. I know that you cannot tolerate evil people and that you have tested those who say they are apostles but are not, and have found out that they are liars. You are patient, you have suffered for my sake, and you have not given up. But this is what I have against you: you do not love me now as you did at first. Think how far you have fallen! Turn from your sins and do what you did at first. If you don't turn from your sins, I will come to you and take your lampstand from its place. (Revelation 2.1-5)

For a while, I've slipped into the so-called comfort zone. I used to take care of 3 girls, which lately never keep in touch with me anymore. Then, I'm "enjoying" my complaints about my authority at work, and friends in ministry. Also, I never spent quality time with Jesus anymore, which actually is the main reason I'm being lukewarm.

So, I'll do what I did. Spending quality time with Jesus, taking care of some girls again, and...the hardest part: stop complaining, and start blessing my authority and friends. So that I won't be stagnant, and there are opened doors in my job and ministry.

It Is

I stole this piece from this


It's nice to know that you're secured with that someone. That even if the rain is pouring hard and the sky is almost dark, he'll never leave you just so you won't feel alone. Even if his friends had left him (and even if he has to be somewhere else) he'd still stay by your side, just so you won't feel alone.

It's so good to know that you have someone who'll be willing to help you cope up in every frustration you're having. Every depressing moments, every down moments, every self-worthless-realization moments, he'd be there, not because you want someone to be with you, but because he wants to be with you.

It's great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you'd be able to communicate, just like that.

It's overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn't have to have reasons for loving you.

It's more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don't choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, and then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.

It's a wonderful feeling when you're on the verge of giving up the things you've worked hard for, someone isn't just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he'd also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.

It's a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you'll be happy. Unselfishness rules in him, just so happiness would take over you.

It's a nice feeling that when you're apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you'd fight over that feeling because you're looking forward to seeing each other, and that's something to be happy about.

It's a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you're together. Even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won't matter as long as you're together.

It's a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you'll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.

It's a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretensions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrassed, but it won't matter coz it doesn't matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.

It's good to know that you have someone who'll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love has scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn't mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he's unselfishly giving.

It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts have paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.

... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.

Beequote #3

Though my life is MY choice
but there will always be
DIVINE INTERVENTIONS
here and there

My choice intertwines with God's interventions.

Prayer

Prayer is request. The essence of request, as distinct from compulsion, is that it may or may not be granted. And if an infinitely wise Being listens to the requests of finite and foolish creatures, of course He will sometimes grant and sometimes refuse them.

C. S. Lewis

Prayer is a real relationship, not magic. When we ask Him for good gifts—something He encourages us to do—we should remember that we’re talking to someone who loves us, wants what’s best for us, and knows what we really need.

(taken from Inspired Faith)

Great Quote

"Janganlah desak aku meninggalkan engkau dan pulang dengan tidak mengikuti engkau; sebab ke mana engkau pergi, ke situ jugalah aku pergi, dan di mana engkau bermalam, di situ jugalah aku bermalam: bangsamulah bangsaku dan Allahmulah Allahku; di mana engkau mati, akupun mati di sana, dan di sanalah aku dikuburkan. Beginilah kiranya TUHAN menghukum aku, bahkan lebih lagi dari pada itu, jikalau sesuatu apapun memisahkan aku dari engkau, selain dari pada maut!"

"Don't entreat me to leave you, and to return from following after you, for where you go, I will go; and where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God; where you die, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if anything but death part you and me."

Test, Grace, and Plot

The harder the test
The cooler the grace
The crazier the plot

Love and Beauty

“Lord, I have this thorn in the flesh. I beseech You, deliver me from it, but meanwhile I bless You for it; for though I do not understand the why or the wherefore of it, I am persuaded there is love within it. Therefore, while I ask You to remove it, so far as it seems evil to me, yet wherein it may to Your better knowledge work for my good, I bless You for it, and I am content to endure it so long as You see fit.”

Got it from Inspired Faith, and it speaks to me more than I can say here :)

And this morning, when I was at the bemo, I thought about a passage in the Bible about Naomi. She left her hometown in order to survive; yet, she lost her beloved husband and sons in Moab (the city where they lived as strangers). Then she decided to go back to Bethlehem, her hometown.

I was thinking: "God, why did You let her went through such an agony?" when He spoke softly to me,"It happened for a greater purpose. To call Ruth to Bethlehem, to serve my divine purpose. Can you see Me at work through the agony Naomi had to endure? I brought her happiness through Ruth, Boaz, and Obed. Everything is beautiful in the due time."

I believe, Dad, that what I must endure now is to bring out the glow in me. My true color in You coz You love me so much. And at the due time, I'll bring glory to Your name and I shall say: "My eyes had seen the Lord".