It's Just A Winding Road, Not A Dead-End

It is a broad daylight. I am walking with my best friend. He is always with me wherever I go. He is forever faithful and forever dependable. He is taking me to a certain destination. Actually, he had already given me clue of what kind of place it will be. Since I don't know the way, he wants to accompany me to get there. I am starting the journey and walking the journey with a great anticipation. I just can't wait to get there, but the road we are taking seems without end.

Along the way, there are a lot of people with various backgrounds and views. We are greeted and have a chat here and there. They are asking where we will go. When they get the answer, their responses are also different from one another.

Some say,"But that's a dead-end. You can't possibly go that way."
Another says,"Oh, your journey is worth the while."
Still the others say,"Think again if you want to take this journey. It's very risky and takes a lot of your time!"

I am looking at my best friend, my eyes are full of questions. My best friend sees me in a confused state of mind, only smiles to me and says,"It's not a dead-end. This is the way. Trust me, Deb. It won't take long, it's just...around the corner."

We have not yet arrived to the place right now, but I have made up my mind. I will trust my best friend no matter what the world will say to me. They may call me silly, or naive, or whatever.. I just believe that my best friend knows the best.

In the end, this journey is only about my best friend; so, only his opinion that matters. I am learning to trust his excellent sense of direction. Noone else's opinion matters.

Anyway, I can't close my eyes towards those who have been very supportive. This post is a credit for you. Thank you for being there =)

Train Station

I chose to take this train.
At first it moved slowly
Then it went faster
and faster
and faster
My heart beats faster too
Fear grips my heart

I want to stop the train
but I couldn't
I can only wait for it to stop
at the next station

I have no idea
whether I'll wait at the station
or take a train to come back
at the previous stop
and start all over again slowly.

The Confession of Bee

I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.  I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains---but if I have no love, I am nothing.  I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned ---but if I have no love, this does me no good.

(1 Corinthians 13.1-3)

How true what Paul said to the Corinthians. I experienced it first hand last year. I did everything merely because of duty. Because I have to. I even kept hatred in my heart. I hid it so well. Not one soul knew it, but me...and God. Never before I hated someone that much, or felt like a hypocrite.

I still talked to that person, trying to be nice. But I wore my mask everytime I was with that particular person. So much of a hypocrite!

And during Youth Christmas Celebration, I gave my testimony about how I've tasted God's kindness and favor. Can you imagine that? Giving an impression that everything ran well and smooth. 

After the sermon, I came to God. Torn. Felt worthless. I asked for His forgiveness, and He gave it to me for FREE. Thank You, Jesus :)

Ever Try to Define LOVE?

Love is true. Love is painful. Love is not easy. Love can be messy. Love is powerful. Love can change you. Love is difficult. Love is commitment. Love is what hate is not. Love learns. Love always listens. Love doesn’t hold onto the wrongs. Love overlooks the sin. Love looks into the heart. Love can be gained. Love can be lost. Love is possible. Love forgives, every time. Love doesn’t lie. Love is always worth a try. Love makes you laugh. Love makes you cry. Love hurts so bad. Love can’t be explained, but love can be felt. Love knows. Love is unconditional. Love accepts you just the way you are. Love protects, defends and fights to the end. Love prefers. Love will sacrifice all for the sake of another. Love is not afraid. Love is full of courage. Love begins with God, then it starts with you. Love takes time. Love doesn’t make sense sometimes. Love is beautiful. Love can be ugly. Love shows kindness. Love is not blind, love sees. Love is compassion. Love can be desperate. Love is discovered when you are broken. Love is in the little things. Love is caught in the most unseen moments. Love is deep, never shallow. Love lends a hand. Love feeds the hungry. Love doesn’t think of itself first, but always others. Love doesn’t demand it’s rights. Love trusts. Love lets go. Love doesn’t blame others. Love takes responsibility. Love doesn’t hold grudges. Love doesn’t compare. Love always believes. Love is risky. Love is worth taking the risk even if it means being hurt. Love is a lesson. Love is all we have. Love feels. Love is distant. Love is close. Love is in every heart. Love dreams. Love encourages. Love is crazy. Love makes you do crazy ridiculous things. Love sucks. Love is a drug. Love is everything. Love bleeds. Love was hung on a cross for all our sins. Love doesn’t see fault. Love gives you what you don’t deserve. Love hates. Love loves. Love is madness. Love is lonely sometimes. Love speaks. Love is silent. Love is loud. Love is discipline. Love is uncomfortable. Love is humble. Love enjoys. Love has fun. Love eats. Love sleeps. Love is an adventure. Love brings peace. Love doesn’t judge. Love embraces. Love gives big hugs. Love smiles. Love dances. Love is always down to help. Love is there for you when you need it the most. Love cares. Love is alive. Love is full of tears. Love makes the heart heavy, like right now. Love will heal with time. Love doesn’t need an answer every time. Love prays. Love hopes. Love never ever gives up. Love is repentant. Love is sorry. Love gets back up again. Love tries. Love pushes you to your limits. Love is scary. Love doesn’t work out always. Love can teach you a good lesson. Love is better than lust. Love gives everything it has. Love doesn’t hold back. Love is not cheap, but costly. Love is a choice. Love is not forced. Love doesn’t take advantage. Love respects. Love always seeks for the best interest of others. Love is giving up what you want, for the wants of another. Love is a promise unbroken. Love is your word. Love doesn’t play games. Love is serious. Love isn’t learned in a day, but learned in a lifetime. Love will make you get on your knees. Love waits. Love moves on. Love is hard. Love is generous. Love kills. Love brings life. Love doesn’t point the finger. Love looks within. Love always wins. Love grows. Love is example. Love is faithful. Love is understanding. Love is full of grace. Love is truth. Love gives roses. Love is finer than wine. Love is found in Paris. Love is lost in life. Love is creative & love creates. Love is a struggle. Love comes and love goes. Love gets mad. Love sometimes yells. Love is brutal. Love is affection. Love transforms. Love is sex done God’s way. Love is pure like a newborn baby. Love is childish. Love is mature. Love is being yourself. Love is loving yourself. Love can. Love is freedom. Love is radical. Love is rad. Love can lead to war. Love will defend the poor. Love is just. Love always does what is right. Love is coming clean. Love is new every morning. Love is there every night, you just have to look for it. Love is in the darkness. Love shines like the dawn. Love is warm. Love is cold too. Love repents. Love is willing to change. Love does what is necessary. Love doesn’t just talk, it walks. Love can feel like a jail cell. Love comes in different forms is expressed in different ways. Love is a language. Love serves. Love is quality time. Love is a gift. Love is heard. Love is physical, don’t be afraid to touch. Love plans. Love is also spontaneous. Love is a surprise. Love is wise. Love can be learned in every life experience good or bad. Love makes the heart happy. Love can’t be taken away, unless you let it. Love is something else. Love doesn’t focus on self. Love is God. Yes, God is love. Love yourself, then you can love others. Love is a golden rule for life. Love is life. Love is family. Love is true friends who love you not for what you can do, but for who you are. Love is what we were created for. Love is big. Love is not noticed. Love is stealth. Love is all around. Love is a song. Love is a presence. Love is worship. Love gives glory. Love always has a story to tell. Love looks like Jesus. Love doesn’t always feel good, but it is good. Love is fearless & faith-full. Love is drama haha. Love takes two. Love is infinite. Love forgets. Love is not full of itself. Love is not addicted, love is self controlled. Love hates evil. Love will not boast or brag. Love is the kindest person you will ever meet. Love is real. Love keeps it real. Love is truthful, it doesn’t beat around the bush. Love is in the eyes. Love can be painful to look at. Love makes priority. Love is not the shape of a heart, love is in the form of a cross. Love isn’t a job. Love isn’t a project. Love just is. Love is who we are, love is what we do, love is perfect even though we are not perfect. Love knows no excuses. Love doesn’t live a lie. Love is a raging fire that can’t be contained, neither explained. Love is worth it all, love gives it all, love is all I want, love is all I need. Love is everything to me. Love I’m still learning. Love I’m still failing. Love you force me to keep going, even when I mess up. Love messed me up. Love is simple & complicated all at the same time. Love is tiring. Love also energizes. Love is up. Love is down. Love makes your heart pound. Love is magical. Love is passionate. Love hurts like hell. Love can feel like heaven. Love makes mistakes. Love is failing, but learning to try again. Love is willing to suffer. Love is willing to lose it all to gain it all. Love is death. Love is resurrection. Love is to die for. Love I could keep going, but I will stop here. Just love.

I took it from here. Visit it and be blessed :)

Thank you for loving me so much ;)

She

was puzzled to see me there.I wanted to greet her happy birthday. She didn't smile at first. She said,"Why bother?" She smiled a bit at last. Before I went to school, I prayed for her.She wasn't reluctant.

Thanks for the idea, encouragement, and prayer, guys.

XD

As I Turn 31

I had this strange yet vivid dream. There was my lil bro, two other of the Adiwidjajas, and I. We were sitting on a porch, facing a beach.
Then I saw my late Grandpa was on a solid cloud, writing something on 2 little pieces of paper. He dropped the papers, and they were blown by the wind toward us.
My bro caught them, but then the wind blew them again toward me. They landed on the floor, so I took the paper. I don't remember exactly the message he wrote, but it was for me.
The next thing I remember was I came near him by the beach, and he said that a man was going to meet me. When I moved closer, he took a step backward. I was very near that I could see him clearly, yet I couldn't touch nor hug him the way I did.(I miss you, Gramp)
And then I walked inside the building to meet the man I didn't know who. Before long...there you were! Looking for me, trying to surprise me...and you were succeed :) I was very happy in the dream coz you and Gramp were there.

In reality...yes, I'm so happy :D You did surprised me. Thank you.

Hug

A hug means so much for me. It heals, restores, and comforts.

Yesterday (and last two Sundays ago) a friend came to me and gave me a big hug. She said things which encouraged me...and I cried. Hahahaha... I dunno what happen to me. Rasanya kelenjar air mataku rada lecek belakangan ini.

I thought I've passed my valley of discouragement and self-pity. God has shown His great mercy and help these past two months. Without I realized it, He has lifted me inch by inch. I thought I've passed it, but He keeps on comforting me. Heal and restore my weary soul.

Thanks to You and to you :)

Another Thing About Daddy

This year school holiday, I went with my dad, mom, and lil bro to Bali as I've posted before.
During the holiday, my daddy was busy looking for a used car (Toyota). He got some offers. Each time, he would test-drive the car to check the machine. The other thing he always did was checking the body thoroughly. He has a pair of sharp eyes that knew if the car had crashed into something or not, no matter how fine the body of the car was.
He even checked the underneath part (I dunno what the term is). He did all those for ME :,)

Yes, I have a car now :) I go to school by car this week. On Monday afternoon, on the way home, I hit a car in a junction. I was very shocked. At first, I was panicked coz I couldn't shift the gear. So...I stamped everything I could stamp. As the result, I hit the car in front of me twice if not thrice :P
The terrible feeling everytime I remembered the scene when my car coming closer to another car still makes me shiver.

Luckily, the driver suggested me to meet his employee, and his employee happened to be at the Galaxy Mall...and parent of one of my school students! And...they live near my boarding house. She was very kind and understanding. We solved the matter peacefully.

After I got home, I called my mom and told her what happened. My dad was next to my mom, so he understood what happened. My mom said,"It's OK. Do you want to talk to Daddy?" Once I talked to him, I cried and I could only say,"I'm sorry." I remembered all that he had done getting that car. All the trouble and outcome to fix the car before I brought it to Surabaya.
I felt very guilty. Moreover, I had assumed negatively of my dad's response about it. It doubled my guilty feeling. I'm sorry, Dad :(

Anyway, I thanked God coz my car is OK. My parents support me to go to school by that car :D

Thank God I Found You

You see the real me
You heard me crying
You know how complicated I am
How fragile I am
How bad my temper is
Yet you still love me
You pray for me
Support me

Your love isn't just words
I thank God for you

Are you strong enough to support me
for the rest of our lifetime?
Aren't you get tired of it someday?

Honey, I love you.
I don't make a mistake,
I know it for sure,
This is not a mistake.

It Is

I stole this piece from this


It's nice to know that you're secured with that someone. That even if the rain is pouring hard and the sky is almost dark, he'll never leave you just so you won't feel alone. Even if his friends had left him (and even if he has to be somewhere else) he'd still stay by your side, just so you won't feel alone.

It's so good to know that you have someone who'll be willing to help you cope up in every frustration you're having. Every depressing moments, every down moments, every self-worthless-realization moments, he'd be there, not because you want someone to be with you, but because he wants to be with you.

It's great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you'd be able to communicate, just like that.

It's overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn't have to have reasons for loving you.

It's more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don't choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, and then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.

It's a wonderful feeling when you're on the verge of giving up the things you've worked hard for, someone isn't just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he'd also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.

It's a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you'll be happy. Unselfishness rules in him, just so happiness would take over you.

It's a nice feeling that when you're apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you'd fight over that feeling because you're looking forward to seeing each other, and that's something to be happy about.

It's a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you're together. Even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won't matter as long as you're together.

It's a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you'll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.

It's a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretensions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrassed, but it won't matter coz it doesn't matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.

It's good to know that you have someone who'll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love has scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn't mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he's unselfishly giving.

It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts have paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.

... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.

Not My Fairytale

No, he is not.
He is my dream come true... beyond my expectations.

Near You

Just being near you
My mind is at peace
My stormy day is calmed

First Experience

It's a first love experience
Looking at each other
Smiling shyly
Feeling nervous
Dunno what to do

Forget?

"In case you forget who you are, turn to the people who love you. They'll remind you how beautiful you are"

That's right, plus don't forget to turn to the One who loves you unceasingly and unconditionally with an ultimate love :)

Because of your value in my eyes, you have been honoured, and loved by Me
Isaiah 43.4a (BBE)

For I am certain that nothing can separate us from His love: neither death nor life, neither angels nor other heavenly rulers or powers, neither the present nor the future, neither the world above nor the world below---there is nothing in all creation that will ever be able to separate us from the love of God which is ours through Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8.38-39 (GNB)

Sleeping Beauty (?)

*of course I am the Sleeping Beauty ^^

Remember Me...

My Heart's Desire

This is the key (...or the keys? :D ) :

Percayalah kepada TUHAN dan lakukanlah yang baik, diamlah di negeri dan berlakulah setia, dan bergembiralah karena TUHAN; maka Ia akan memberikan kepadamu apa yang diinginkan hatimu.

Serahkanlah hidupmu kepada TUHAN dan percayalah kepada-Nya, dan Ia akan bertindak; Ia akan memunculkan kebenaranmu seperti terang, dan hakmu seperti siang.

Berdiam dirilah di hadapan TUHAN dan nantikanlah Dia;
Mazmur 37.3-7a

Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him:
Psalms 37.3-7a

Perfect Will

I will let Your perfect will be done in my life.
I submit to You.

I cast all my care upon You; for You care for me.
(personalized from 1 Peter 5.17)

Your Love is Enough

Coz You love me that much
Therefore, Your love is enough.

Enough, I want nothing else
but Your love.

I'll rejoice in You
coz You complete my life.

The joy of the Lord is in me
that's my strength.

I'll keep on walking in Your covenant
coz I trust You.

I know that the best is yet to come
You'll give me the desire of my heart.

So, I choose to be joyful
rejoicing in Your Words,
fixing my eyes to the fulfillment
of Your promises.

Beautiful Melody

Both sadness/ things make us upset and happiness make a beautiful melody in our lives (relationships).