Today

Today I woke up at 6, still sleepy. Trying to figure out how to survive this day. I had a prayer meeting, and taught 2 classes. Kinda full.

I believed I can survive this day after what happened in a classroom: When I was teaching, I asked my students to open 1 Timothy 4.12. I asked them what does "teladan" (example) means. One boy answered me," Not wearing clothes at all." I was shocked and for a moment I thought he was joking. But his face was serious. I was tempted to tease him, but I restrained myself.

His classteacher put it in her status. A teacher, who sits next to me, opened Facebook thru her cellphone and showed it to me. I laughed outloud and told her the whole story. And just now, the classteacher entered teacher lounge, and we made joke about it. And again I laughed outloud that other teachers asked what happened, so I told them the story.

It really helped me thru this day. Coz just before I taught I felt like crying coz I saw a comment from my friend about For Someone Special. There is something bothering me, and I don't know what to do. And I really miss my grandpa, wish I could see him and talk about it. But, well... I'm okay now. I choose to be okay :)

Holiday Part 1

Clueless

That early-Sunday-morning conversation with a friend made me realize that I'm still 'green' in boy-girl relationship (in spite of my relationships in the past). There are things that I'm clueless.
Actually this post is meant to be blank coz I'm clueless, but then I changed my mind.

FUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Sunday (Sept 20), my colleague came to my home. And she stayed until Thursday with me in Mojokerto.


On Monday (Sept 21), my sister's family and I took her to Taman Safari. Not only for her, but also for Billy, my baby nephew. Unfortunately, when we almost reached the elephant and giraffe, he fell asleep. Then we went to baby zoo. My friend saw this Sepeda Layang and interested to try. So, she and I bought the ticket. It was a challenge for me, actually. I have a fear of heights, and the bike was squeaking (or was it only me who heard it?). I was afraid the rail would broke and we'd fall off. But, I've overcomed it. The other challenge was, we kept of slipping coz of pedaling the bike. What an exercise it was! But it was fun :)




The next day, we went around Mojokerto. Bought ice creams and fireworks. It was too bad that the fireworks didn't work very well. Anyway, the whole family had fun that night.








On Thursday, we went to Candi Bajang Ratu and Candi Tikus. It was my first time visiting the historical sites of Mojokerto.








On that same day, my friend french-braided me before we came back to Surabaya. We went to Supermall with my brother. We tried Dr. Fish, and here are our expressions:






It felt sooooooo ticklish that I couldn't stand it. I often shooed the fish away from my feet.

Then , my friend took the rabbit she'd bought the day before. He was so cute!!

Can you see the fussy fur? It hides his eyes.

On Saturday I went home again. This time with my cell community. We had a ministry trip in a church in Mojokerto. On Sunday all of us went back to Surabaya. Got ready for Monday.

Hurray, I'm 30!!!!

Yep! I'm 30 and bee-autiful ^^ I've got no wishes, but my family and friends wishes me so many things. They've made list of wishes for me and pray for me, and I'm so blessed. Thank youuuuuuu so much ^^

Yea, I'm blessed with a loving family and caring friends. They are God-sent. ^^

This is a birthday card, Jak made for me. Thanks, Bro ^^


See his cool blog...

Love beyond Reasons

On Sept 14 morning, the rhema I got from meditating Philippians 2.1-10 was:
“We” is more important than “I”, so I’d give up my rights for my friends coz they’re wonderful.
On that very day, I confirmed my meeting with a friend for the next day to help him. I sent him a text message in the evening: “Will we meet tmrw? What time?” His response was: “Is it something that will hurt/disappoint me? If so, I’d better not meet u.”

And I was like: “What?” I’d like to answer like this: “Okay, then I won’t meet u, I won’t say anything 2u! I’ll let God Himself train u in the way u should go. I’ll just pray 4u.” As I was thinking that way, the rhema came up to my mind:
“We” is more important than “I”, so I’d give up my rights for my friends coz they’re wonderful.

So, I said,” Father, please help me to love him no matter what.” I envisioned I hugged the Lord’s arm tightly coz of the pain of giving up my rights of blurting out my emotions to my friend.

Instead of saying bad things to him or saying something rudely, I simply said (thru a text message): “I want to help you”. And I meant it. It really came from my heart.

And that is love beyond reasons. I’ve learnt my lesson that day, and, with the Father’s help, I conquered my own desire (gave up my rights).

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God, but made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men. And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.
Philippians 2.5-8

Angel(s)

"Have you ever seen an angel?"
"Are angels beautiful?"
"Are they big?"
"Do they really have wings?"
"Is there a halo around one's head?"
"Does each of us have a guardian angel?"

I've seen angels in so many forms.
They're big! Big hearted, I'd say.

And, yes, they're beautiful!!
Compassion is their beauty.
Their eyes are twinkling with Love.

They have a pair of wing of Faith and Hope.

Um mm...no, they don't have halos,
the glory belongs to Jesus only.

Well, yes, of course!
Each of us has a guardian angel.
I'm looking at my guardian angel right now.

"Really?"
"Where is s/he?"

Right in front of me.
Yes, you are my guardian angel,
my God-sent friend :)

Appearances

On the verge of my late twenties, the issue of a life-partner of mine was booming. Good intentions of a friend and a relative brought me to know several guys. It made me questioning myself.

"Am I that desperate to get a life-partner?"
"Am I being picky?"
"Do I judge him by his appearances?"

Ever since my teen-age, I've told my friends, and these sudden match-maker that appearances are not my priority. They means: face, height, weight, and his clothing-style (neat). Education mattered, though. As well as job. Then I realized that those two are also appearances.

One man, however, made me asking those questions to myself. I was so afraid of judging him by his appearances, and it made me realize another thing. I've never paid attention to my appearance (the way I clothe myself). As long as I'm comfortable, I could go shopping to the mall with an old pants which is out of date, and its color had faded away plus a T-shirt.

When one of my best friends advised me to reduce my weight coz there are some men who don't like a plump girl. I thought it was unfair. But then i knew that I was being unfair, too. I liked a well-dressed man. Was it wrong? No, I was just being realistic. So, are those men wrong? They aren't, I might say.

So, somebody out there!!! Please help me to make over my clothing style with some chic clothes which match my character and personality. Raise your hands, please... ;)

Love Me, Love Me Not?

"I love you"
Oh, how I'd been waiting for
you to say those magical words.

"I love you"
You whispered it in my ears
warmed my heart.

"I love you"
I shut eyes tight
to make it lasted forever.

"I love you"
Tears streaked down my face
when I, eventually, heard it from your lips.

"I love you"
Was it genuinely said
when we'd to wave good-bye?

*it's just something that i wanna say about the past :)

For Someone Special

Your deep voice calmed
my troubled soul
Your smiles lightened up
my world
Your love filled
my dull days with colors
You meant the world to me

But now you are gone
nowhere to be seen
can't find you
Lonely...
Imbalance...
Lost...
I cried hard for months

I still remember you told me
"When my home is done
you'll stay with me there."
I still remember your deep voice
telling the Christmas story.
You sang the angels' song
as if joining their voices
singing praises to
the Lord, God Almighty

I blamed my dad for losing you
But I realized that
it was your choice.

I love you
Love you so much
No matter what.

When can I see you again?
I'm looking forward to the day
when heaven opens up
to be with you at home.

Bee That You (Dont) Know...

Hmmmm...to answer Jak's and CIA's "invitations", here are 10 things about me that you may not know:

10. I ate slowly like a snail when I was a small kid.
9. I often went to school late because I was a slow-eater, and my friend always teased me at school till I cried.
8. I was a cry baby. I was crying everyday when my mom left me at school (didn't wait for me till school hour was over like the first month).
7. I like ballet and classical music.
6. I wanted to learn to play violin, but never took courses on it. And...ssshhhhh...I wanted to be a drama performer.
5. I had (or maybe have) a grandfather complex. I have a special bond with my grandpa. For me he was like a father, all my ideals about a father was in him. When he passed away I made a poem, and hid it inside my desk at home. One day my mom found it, and I was so embarrassed that I threw it away. Sometimes I still cry when I remember my grandpa. I still miss him after these 20 years.
4. I envied my little baby bro. I felt that he stole every attention I used to get from my grandpa. I also envied my little sister coz she could easily attracted people's attention. I often had fights with her over small things, usually coz she imitated me. The most terrible thing I did to her was letting go the thing that she and I pulled together. So I pulled one side and she pulled the other side, and I let the thing slip from my hand. It made her head hit the doorjamb.
3. At age of 5, I couldn't speak articulately. People believed that my mouth should be tapped when I stammered. When my mom did it, I was so shocked...and I cried so hard. I was also afraid to talk coz when I talked my friends would laugh at me.
2. My kindergarten's mates called me "babi" coz it rhymed with "Debby" and I hated school. I was taken to a psychologist when I was at the third grade (my kindergarten mates went to the same elementary)coz I often skipped my classes. In the morning I said that I had fever, so I stayed at home. It went for days and my mom was so angry. That was why she took me to see a psychologist.
1. I smoked my dad's cigarette and it was so "YUCK". It took place when my dad and mom were away. I sneaked into my dad's room, took the cigarette and smoked it. I never tell my parents about it.

Done =) I spent almost an hour to make this post, digging my memories, remembering my feelings in each events. And I quite surprise to know that I still keep it, and I find out the root of my inferiority.

Thanks for asking me make this post, Jak, CIA.

Dreamer

Back then I didn’t know
That I was created for dreams
When I was a child
Everytime people asked me my dream
I would say “I wanna be a doctor”
When I grew up
I would say “Translator”
Later on I had a dream
To own a handicraft shop

Years passed
I felt emptiness
deep within my heart
I tried to fill it with
Jobs and shopping
And, of course, relationships
Just to find them failed me

I was wondering
If life was so plain
So boring
Was it me who didn’t see
Its beauty?
Was it me who couldn’t
Enjoy its fun?
Was it me who didn’t
Take its challenge?

Yes, it was me
I was blind and pessimistic
Till I met someone who opened
The blindfold and encourage me
To walk this life courageously
To dream big
To rise from the ashes and fly
Reaching for the dreams

Today,
I have a dream
That I’ll touch other people’s life
I have a dream
To be a blessing for them
I have a dream
To give more
I have a dream
To encourage people to dream big

Today,
I’m a dreamer
Who is running toward my dreams

I Have A Dream

This is part of "I have a dream" speech delivered by Martin Luther King Jr. When I heard it for the first time during my third year in college, I was so amazed by the power it had. It changed a big nation. I wish I could make a piece like this. Here it is:
I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."
And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!
Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!
But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"



I took the speech from that address.

To Do List

Ke Bandung. Maunya sih liburan Idul Fitri ini, tapi karena aku sendiri juga ngrencanainnya telat banget…batal deh! Ntar pas Natalan aja deh…







Makan yoghurtnya J.Co! Sejak pertengahan bulan lalu udah kepingiiiiiiiiiiin banget. Akhirnya!!! Kemarin keturutan hehehe beli yang couples, tapi kumakan sendiri. Ngliat aku makan dengan nikmat, adikku g isa nahan ketawanya. Rasanya g seasem yang kubayangin. Manis, tapi g terlalu. Yang jelas: YUMMY!!!!!


Ke Mon Cheri ma Gramedia. Aku tuh sukaaaaaaaaaaaaaa baget ma yang namanya es krim dan buku! Aku bisa beli buku cuma karena gambarnya bagus, padahal isinya g bagus. Pernah juga beli buku yang isinya bagus, tapi belum juga kubaca mpe sekarang. Kapan hari adik iparku kasih voucher 100.000 untuk belanja di Gramedia. Pas ngebayangin Gramedia, Mon Cheri juga ikutan muncul hehehehe Moga aja minggu ini kesampean.

To be continued...

Enthusiastic

Enthusiasm is used to describe a high-spirited condition. Last Sunday, Daniel Yanuar said that it came from two words: en (in) & theos (God). Simply, it means: In God. Enthusiastic means that we're in God.

I agree that sometimes we're tired of something. But, Jesus said to come to Him, take the yoke, and learn from Him for He is gentle and humble in heart.

In other words, to stay enthusiastic is to be gentle and humble in heart. Learn from Jesus, and our soul will get rest.

Be blessed \(^^)/

For You

Workers, students... obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God; and whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

These verses are powerful! Well, in fact the Word of God is powerful!

In whatever we do, we're serving the Lord, our mighty God.

Have a blessed day :)

Bearing Fruits

But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience.
(Luke 8.15)

The keys are hear the Word, keep it in my heart, and do it. If I fail, I must not give up doing it until the Word lives in me.

A Great Man of God

My today's Bible reading was taken from Acts 7:54-60 and Psalms 112.
Psalms 112 describing a man who fears the Lord and the wicked. Interestingly, the last verse says,"The wicked shall see it, and be grieved; he shall gnash with his teeth, and melt away: the desire of the wicked shall perish." While Acts tells us a story about Stephen who was tried and stoned to death. Verse 54 says,"When they (the councilmen of Israel. In my opinion consists of Pharisees) heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed on him with their teeth."

You see, the Pharisees gnashed their teeth, while the wicked also gnashed their teeth. What I'm trying to say is this: Pharisees = the wicked. They know all God's commandments, yet they don't do it. Jesus called them hypocrite. They sinned coz they don't walk their talk. The wicked, on the other hand, their lifestyles are sinful lifestyles. Seems different, yet the same.

The man who fears the Lord shall not be moved forever. He is not afraid of bad tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD. Like Stephen. As people stoned him, he saw Jesus was standing on the right hand of God. It made him didn't compromised his faith. He didn't curse them nor curse the Lord! He trusted the Lord with all his heart and soul. Look what he did! Instead of cursing, he cried with a loud voice,"Lord, lay not this sin to their charge." What a great man! He wasn't moved by persecution.

KJV says after that Stephen fell asleep! Matthew 10:39 tell us,"He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."

I dunno what will happen tomorrow to us. Whether God will allow us to experience what our brothers ans sisters in China experience or not. But I wanna strengthen my hand in the LORD by growing strong in His Words/ promises. I don't wanna dump Him when the going gets tough. I wanna set my eyes beyond my circumstances, to Jesus.

Wanna get your life? Give it to Him :)