Rise Again

Well, as Valen-CIA said in my chatter box, I’ll share the blessings I got from ESC. It’s a kind of leadership camp.

For quite some months, I’ve been facing a wall in my ministry. I’d tried my best to knock it down, but all my efforts ended in vanity. I felt discouraged, disappointed, and felt like wanna quit. The top of the top happening that made me almost quit (again, *sigh*) was two days before the camp. It was a big blow for me.

At first, my main reason for joining the camp was because most of my cellgroup friends joined it, and I wanted to experience it together. The secondary reason was I wanted to get something new from God. So, you see…I didn’t put God first. But in the pre-camp meeting, I’ve shifted my reasons.

And, the journey began. I’ve joined this camp for three years in a row. And everytime I joined it, I always get something new. This time, since the very beginning till the end, God touched and restored my heart.

A week before the camp, an aunt prayed for me and she said I’ve to pray for my dad’s and grannie’s salvation. I was shocked; I never guessed that their sins are so evil in the sight of God. Well, in some sessions, God showed Himself as a Father to me. Consoling and restoring my broken heart.

I’ve seen Passion of the Christ for so many times, yet it spoke differently during the camp. When Jesus was tortured by the Roman soldier, He fell, but rose again ready to get more tortures. At that time, I felt God said,”I wasn’t quit. For you, My child, I wouldn’t quit.” Tears rolled down my cheeks. He showed me what persistent is.

On the way to Calvary, so many people stood at the sides of the street, yelling at Him, humiliating Him; yet, His eyes saying,”I love you”. For the Romans who had tortured Him cruelly beyond humanity, for the Jews who asked Pilate to crucify Him, for the world who hates Him today, He died coz of LOVE. Softly, He said,”I love you. And you have to show it to your friend”. He made me see what TRUE LOVE is.

Some sessions made me realized that I’ve been driven by my ego in my ministry, not by God’s grace. That’s why I was easily disappointed and easily tempted to quit. My joy was like yo-yo, up and down. In a certain session, I responded to the altar call and really gave up my disappointment in ministry. And I was set free. I was enabled to forgive my friend who disappointed my so much, and love that person. I told my friend that I would walk extra mile for her coz I’ve received God’s love and I wanted to let her felt it thru me.

As for me myself, I made a commitment to walk by grace, not by ego. And really learn the lifestyle of Christians as written in 1 Thessalonians 5.16-18, Colossians 4.2, Ephesians 2.5-8, Ephesians 4.2, and Philipians 4.13. I learn who is God to me in Psalms 23. I learn about who I am in Matthew 20.26-28. They were only some.

I was taught to depend on Holy Spirit. The participants of the camp were given NINETEEN verses to be memorized! We couldn’t memorize it if not by the help of the Holy Spirit. Also to live the verses I memorized, to ponder it and do it.

The camp was over, but the school of life is waiting for me to apply those blessings and share them. So, here it is… I share it with you 